February 20, 2014

the moment i've been so brave


it's been a long time since i update my blog with all the crap haha!
Sekarang udah 2014, dan lagi-lagi sebenernya gue gak punya resolusi untuk 2014 ini, bukan karena gue gak punya goal yang berarti di taun baru ini. Tapi sejak gue mulai bikin resolusi di 2010, Alhamdulillah apa yang gue rencanakan dan usahakan mostly terkabul, dan bahkan gue dapet lebih dari yang gue minta. Jadi kayanya, i'll let it flow without asking much, cos i got much already.

Alhamdulillah. Allah baik banget sama gue :)
last year i've made some BIG-decisions in my life, gue bahkan gak percaya kalo gue bisa ambil keputusan-keputusan besar kaya gitu. Well, everything just happened so fast. 

I decide to wear a hijab. I was not forced by anyone, not even my family nor my boyfriend, or anyone else.
*pretty shocking, huh?
The idea of wearing hijab didn't happen overnight for me, it takes more than 2 years for me to convince myself about this (first idea happened in 2011) -- Jadi selama 2 taun itu semua terlupakan, walaupun kadang-kadang pop-up reminder di random time huhuuuu - payah sekali memang!!

*picture from pinterest.com*

A few months ago i was very nervous and scared also, i don't know how to start, do i have to wear it or not, what will people think about me or when is the right time wearing it. I also scared that i wasn't good enough to put it on, i didn't have enough knowledge, i didn't act the way i was meant to, and else and else. I have million questions and doubts sometimes back then, because i know when i start to wearing it, there is a commitment that must be taken seriously. So, I keep asking to myself, and praying about this just to calm and clear my mind :)

For me a BIG-decision like this requires careful consideration, it's like you're getting married, but more important, and more serious - HAHAHA - But seriously, everytime i think about wearing it, i get butterflies in my stomach
*gak berlebihan kok, suwer banget

I have so many friends who wear hijab, but i noticed that they acted and did the same things just like me, rasanya gak ada yang berbeda, only better, they didn't do all the bad things, which is good - HAHAHA

But, i realized that the basic of wearing hijab is obeying Allah, and i believe there's no wrong reason about this, why didn't i started it - i prayed and prayed every day and night just to get the answers, until i don't have much doubts to start wearing it :)

And now, Alhamdulillah after more than 5 months, there was never a moment i regretted wearing it. Insha Allah, istiqomah. Amiin.

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